1) The how to change a diaper anytime, anywhere merit badge. I can change a diaper at 3am with the lights out. I can change a diaper in a car seat. I can change a diaper while holding the kid on my lap. I can change diapers that resulted in a blowout so big my kid had poo in his hair (true story...very very gross, but true). I do have to give special kudos to Brad for his diaper changing prowess however. He changed Mike's diaper in an airplane lavatory without a changing station and no sink room or toilet seat. He came out shuddering, but the baby had a clean butt!
2) The how to breastfeed a baby anytime anywhere merit badge. Similar to the one above, but with the potential for flashing unsuspecting strangers. Now don't get me wrong, I am the type of girl that covers up. I have a very nice "hooter hider" that I love. But with a squirmy baby who likes to pull on everything, the hooters are not always hidden if you catch my drift. Now this one took me a little while to obtain. I used to go upstairs or to an empty room if other people were around for a bit of privacy. Well that all changed the day my dad walked in while I was feeding Mike one day and started having a conversation with me. At that point I figured hiding away is stupid.
3) The how to calm a screaming baby merit badge. Babies cry. They are good at it. I've become good at stopping it. My two secret weapons for an upset baby: the first is a good bouncing. My baby LOVES to move (that is probably an understatement). Since day 1 he has like to be moving. Bouncing, rolling, walking, whatever. If he is moving, chances are good that he is happy. So trick number one is to cradle him in my arms, give him his binky and start bouncing. Pretty much without fail he will be calm and likely asleep within 5 minutes. Trick number two is the song "The Wheels on the Bus." I have no freaking idea why but singing that song calms him down. Other songs are hit or miss but the Wheels on the Bus works every time. Granted sometimes I have to sing it for 15 minutes, but it has yet to fail me (the verses start to get quite interesting after you have been singing it for 15 minutes by the way).
4) The How to Multitask Like a Mommy merit badge. Cook dinner, feed the dog, load and dishwasher, clean up spit up and hold a squirmy baby all at the same time? Check. Hold a baby while putting your make-up on? Check. Carry a baby and 5 other bags? Check. This list could literally go on forever.
5) The Flying Alone with a Baby merit badge. This merit badge probably was the most stressful to obtain and it combined aspects of all of my other mommy merit badges earned thus far. I had to change the diaper of a squirmy boy in multiple places (including holding a squirmy boy who decided the "final descent" was a great time for a blow out. Meaning I got to hold onto him while poo was seeping out of his diaper and running down his leg praying that the stupid plane would get to the stupid gate faster). I got to breastfeed a sweet baby while sitting mere inches from complete strangers who may or may not have been trying to peek into my nursing cover-up. I had to use all of my mad skillz (yes, skills with a "z") to keep my baby calm during over 6 hours of flight time, and I had to multi-task like a bad-ass. This merit badge also required copious amounts of planning. In the end Mr. Michael and I both made it through just fine (as did all of the other passengers on our flights) with minimal unhappiness (and even less crying). That being said, I can honestly say I never want to fly alone with a baby...EVER.
And of course, the obligatory picture, because really, who reads blogs for the words? It's all about the pictures :)
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